How to Build Resilience

Resilience (or resiliency) is the ability to adapt and bounce back when things don't go as planned. Failure is an inevitable part of living where people will make mistakes and occasionally "fall flat on our faces".  The only way to avoid this is to live a sheltered existence, never trying anything new or 'taking a risk'. To lead a more fulfilling life, we should have the courage to go after our dreams, despite the very real risk that we'll fail in some way or other. Being resilient means that when we do fail, we bounce back, we have the strength to learn the lessons we need to learn, and we can move on to bigger and better things. Overall, resilience gives us the power to overcome setbacks, so that we can live the life we've always imagined.

Resilient people generally don't wallow or dwell on their failures. However, they have the ability to acknowledge a situation, learn from their mistakes, and then move forward. Ultimately, the ability to become more resilient comes with practice and training.

There are three elements to resilience

1. Challenge – Resilient people view a difficulty as a challenge, not as a paralyzing event. They look at their failures and mistakes as lessons to be learned from, and as opportunities for growth. They don't view them as a negative reflection on their abilities or self-worth.

2. Commitment – Resilient people are committed to their lives and their goals, and they have a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning. Commitment isn't just restricted to their work – they commit to their relationships, their friendships, the causes they care about, and their religious or spiritual beliefs.

3. Personal Control – Resilient people spend their time and energy focusing on situations and events that they have control over. Because they put their efforts where they can have the most impact, they feel empowered and confident. Those who spend time worrying about uncontrollable events can often feel lost, helpless, and powerless to take action.

Common features of resilient people include

• Resilient people have a positive image of the future. That is, they maintain a positive outlook, and envision brighter days ahead;

• Resilient people have solid goals, and a desire to achieve those goals;

• Resilient people are empathetic and compassionate. However, they don't waste time worrying what others think of them. They maintain healthy relationships, but don't bow to peer pressure; and

• Resilient people never think of themselves as victims – they focus their time and energy on changing the things that they have control over.

10 Ways to Build Your Resilience
The good news is that even if you're not a naturally resilient person, you can learn to develop a resilient mindset and attitude. To do so, incorporate the following into your daily life

1. Learn to relax. When we take care of our mind and body, we are better able to cope effectively with challenges in our lives. Try to develop a good sleep routine, try out a new exercise or use physical relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation;

2. Practice thought awareness. Resilient people don't let negative thoughts affect their efforts. Instead, they consistently practice positive thinking. This means listening to how they talk to themselves when something goes wrong and trying to  correct these thoughts in your mind. For example, "I can't do that yet";

3. Edit your outlook. If failure and challenge is an inevitable part of life, try to  change the way that we think about negative situations and bad events;

4. Learn from your mistakes and failures. Every mistake has the power to teach us something important, so look for the lesson in every situation;

5. Choose your response. Remember, we all experience bad days and we all go through our share of crises. But we have a choice in how we respond: we can choose to react with panic and negativity, or we can choose to remain calm and logical to take control and find a solution. We are in control of our reaction;

6. Maintain perspective. Resilient people understand that, although a situation or crisis may seem overwhelming in the moment, it may not make that much of an impact over the long-term. We should try to avoid blowing events out of proportion;

7. Set yourself some goals. If we don't already, learn to set  short-term goals that can support learning from your experiences;

8. Build your self-confidence. Remember, resilient people are confident that they're going to succeed eventually, despite the setbacks or stresses that they might be facing. This belief in themselves also enables them to take risks: when you develop confidence  and a strong sense of self, you have the strength to keep moving forward, and to take the risks you need to get ahead;

9. Develop strong relationships. People who have strong connections  at work are more resistant to stress, and they're happier in their role. This also goes for our personal lives: the more genuinie friendships we develop, the more resilient we can become; and 

10. Be flexible. Resilient people understand that things change, and that carefully-made plans may, occasionally, need to be amended or scrapped.